Things Old People like Part I

Ahhhh, old people: Where to begin? Yes they may be slow and "in the way" but before you shove them aside, think about how much they've been through in their wrinkly years.
- WW1
- WW2
- The train...
- Plato
- Aristotle... These bingo champions have seen it all! And if they havent, then they've still seen a lot more than you!

But what happens when we get old? How do you go from the ignorant 13 year old shit-head whipping toilet paper rolls at houses to the 67 year old attending knitting seminars every thursday?
I may sound like I'm mocking the stereotypes ascociated with our senior citizens...but really I'm fascinated. How are these trends created? What norms are they following, and seriously, why are they so fucking cute about it?!

If you're still not convinced, here's a list of undeniable Senior "trends"


THINGS OLD PEOPLE LIKE

1) BINGO:
ok, Fact: Old people LOVE Bingo. Sure, it may seem lame that it's the center of their social lives. But really, I think they've got it figured out, and we're the suckers still out there learning about life..

2) GARDENING:
A senior pre-requisite. Dont believe me? Ask Mabel about perennials..you'll see.

3) RECEIPTS:
If there's one thing seniors are as careful about as their frail bodies its their spending habits. You tell em' grandma!

4) ORTHOPAEDIC SHOES:
Deterioration, bunions, corns, yellow toe nails.....Although these are all major turn ons, nothing gets grandpas' pace maker going like a nice pair of loafers with extra arch support and a quarter inch heel....

5) SEARS:
SALES BIN BITCHES!!!!!!

6) GRANDCHILDREN:
Your Grandparents went through a lot of shit raising your parents...and now they get to watch them suffer the same hell. There's something beautiful about that...

7) SCRABBLE:
Very good at board games....I wouldn't even challenge Grandma to a game of Scategories...let alone fucking Scrabble.

8) OVER SIZED SUN GLASSES:
Paris Hilton aint got shit.

9) COLLECTABLE SPOONS:
Get out the polish... Grandma wants you to clean the Niagra Falls spoon again.